tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1259549359046249602024-02-19T08:28:50.065-08:00Catherine McGrathCatherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comBlogger191125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-40164254839843696092014-05-19T23:21:00.003-07:002014-05-19T23:24:07.146-07:00For the Record<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">I've often been told I carry a "too good" attitude. This kinda bothers me when people tell me this.</span><br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">I don't open up to people and I'll be the first to tell you; I seem to be a surface level person on the outside, but I care more about you after our first time meeting than you think.</span><br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">I've been the one to jump into things and I've only been hurt. Which is what life is all about and I get that. I'm just protecting myself from that. I talk about being a lonely person a lot and that's because I unintentionally, but forcefully do it to myself.</span><br />
<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">I have a problem finishing things, I don't like conflict and I'm afraid. So I void all possibilities of such by keeping things simple.</span><br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">So, no- I'm not too good. I'm actually the complete opposite; I'm not good enough. I put myself out there and I go way out of my way to care for people that only leave me empty and in pain. I act outgoing and it's not an act, but I simply <i>can't</i> let anyone deeper. My emotions can't handle it. Just thinking about it scares me to death and is painfully exhausting.</span><br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">So when I say I'm never getting married, I mean it. Maybe I'm stubborn, but I'd rather not. I will always be here to listen and care for anyone that needs it and I will invest in you as much as you let me. I appreciate the love people do give me and it means the world to me when people tell me things like, "you're going to be a great wife someday" or simply thank me for driving them places. I'm not too good to accept these things. </span><br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">Do you see my problem? I'm just a mess. And I'm too afraid to fix it. I just need it to stop.</span><br />
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MEZPhzsXYPU/U3r09jPHThI/AAAAAAAABNc/qlITcwZpFAc/s1600/IMG_1347.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MEZPhzsXYPU/U3r09jPHThI/AAAAAAAABNc/qlITcwZpFAc/s1600/IMG_1347.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3;"><br /></span>Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-26659433684426735902014-05-12T01:03:00.001-07:002014-05-12T01:03:06.255-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Changing for the sake of impression,</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #a2c4c9;"> isn't worth the misinterpretation of your passion and character. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #a2c4c9;">Stay who you are.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #a2c4c9;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0ZZhWMmOTXg/U3CALpZs_iI/AAAAAAAABNM/TtICDR-T8Ao/s1600/IMG_0780.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0ZZhWMmOTXg/U3CALpZs_iI/AAAAAAAABNM/TtICDR-T8Ao/s1600/IMG_0780.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #a2c4c9;"><br /></span></span></div>
Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-2856780443122258562014-05-12T00:43:00.000-07:002014-05-12T00:49:42.320-07:00<span style="color: #ea9999;">On second thought. Or first thought;</span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Why the heck do we doubt God? Like even for a second?</span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Loneliness, doubt, questioning, unsureness- overcomes a person every single day. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">And every single day he pulls through. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">In the smallest ways that are really the largest. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">King Jesus. <i>King, Jesus.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><i><br /></i></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GcGtuH0lF6U/U3B9Bb-w5cI/AAAAAAAABM0/9HkkojyBZs4/s1600/IMG_1184.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GcGtuH0lF6U/U3B9Bb-w5cI/AAAAAAAABM0/9HkkojyBZs4/s1600/IMG_1184.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><i><br /></i></span>Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-90105425681578134642014-05-12T00:26:00.000-07:002014-05-12T00:53:03.171-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">
People like you are on a mission. How many <i>friends</i> can you get? How many people can you get to accept you? The only acceptance you need is Christ's. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How many of these people actually mean something to you?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
How many of these people are you actually interested in pouring into?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6J5ttLXqGcY/U3B8ZdNklSI/AAAAAAAABMs/HPE8bPl1d88/s1600/IMG_1231.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6J5ttLXqGcY/U3B8ZdNklSI/AAAAAAAABMs/HPE8bPl1d88/s1600/IMG_1231.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-57206492123654357772014-05-12T00:14:00.001-07:002014-05-12T00:52:48.381-07:00<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">The epicenter of loneliness, is being surrounded by hundreds of people and not being acknowledged by a single soul. So, imagine this for me:</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">What if we were nicer people? What if we smiled more and worried less? Trust me when I say I know that a simple smile and nod "hello" from another human, can save your life. Especially in a place where it's expected most. </span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">If you can't relate to 'the church,' I understand because I rarely can either and it's very much been my upbringing. The church is the most judgmental and at times, unwelcoming place there is. When I've needed it most, not a single soul at church sees me. Given, I don't reach out but maybe it's because I feel unsafe doing so. So isn't that the church's job to make every person feel open or vulnerable to do so?</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">Who knows. Maybe this doesn't make sense at all. But what I do know, is that the church is weighed down by the corruption of this world. I am not blaming the church or disempowering my confidence and trust in it. </span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">But I am questioning the morals in which the members of the church claim to exercise. Are you really pouring into your church the way you advertise yourself to be? Or are you a greeter at the door for looks, self approval and other's approval?</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hPZlHp5J69U/U3B9vrcG0SI/AAAAAAAABNA/oHATgwmu3uM/s1600/IMG_1039.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hPZlHp5J69U/U3B9vrcG0SI/AAAAAAAABNA/oHATgwmu3uM/s1600/IMG_1039.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><br /></span>Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-39788467167809765762014-05-10T02:01:00.001-07:002014-05-10T02:01:57.458-07:00The year ends today, in the month of MayHow do I begin? A year I was absolutely terrified to start, ended so quickly in the blink of an eye. My first semester was rough. I faced a plethora of adversities I never would have imagined. I went through difficulties I'll spare you the details of, but gained so much from in the end. I had to make adjustments to things I had no plans to adjust, and still don't even know how I did it.<br />
<br />
I threw myself into every activity I could and got super involved in sports, school and church. I immediately found a home church and began volunteering in the children's ministry and found familiarity in the genuineness of these preschoolers that reminded me of home. Making friends isn't a difficult thing for me to do, but allowing myself to trust in them is. And because of this I will forever have 3 absolutely wonderful friends I would not have survived without.<br />
<br />
Classes were easy for me and balancing them with softball came naturally as I have been doing so my entire 15 years of playing. I loved my professors and got to know almost all of them on a little bit deeper level than just sitting in class and leaving. The chair of my department immediately reached out to me and became a mentor to me that I am eternally grateful for.<br />
People laugh at me when I say I love chapel as first semester I only missed 2; that were out of my control.<br />
I like to block my first semester from my memory as so many unfortunate things almost outweighed the good. But as I said before, I gained a strength I had never found within me before.<br />
<br />
Second semester rolled around, and I immediately took charge to the goals I told my family I was going to achieve. I had to get a job, move out of my room from first semester and into another, and bring my grades up.<br />
A whole new type of balance was thrown at me and I struggled. I still was suffering to adjust. My new roommate and I clicked right away and she brought me into her friend group that soon became some of my best friends. I grew closer to some more than others but would not have made it through without them. Our little family had some seriously amazing memories and awesome times together I will never forget.<br />
Given the circumstances, I had to rediscover myself all over again. I almost naturally and without even intending to, started pursuing my passions again and was happier than ever. If you know me at all, you know the top 5 things in my life are: Jesus, My Family, Photography, Coffee and School.<br />
<br />
Without Christ, my life is meaningless. So many times, all the way even until the end of the year, I was alone. I knew so many faces, had so many friends, but always found myself lonely. Friends from home weren't really friends anymore and people at school were just friendly. Or so I convinced myself.<br />
The truth is, Christ is my best friend and I never feel alone when I talk to him. In the car on the way to work, when I'm bored, when I'm tired, when I'm stressed, when I'm unsure..<br />
My constant prayer throughout college was, "Lord, open the doors in which I'm supposed to walk through, and help me to see the ones I'm supposed to enter." And in that prayer alone, he opened so many doors I never even knew existed.<br />
<br />
For one, writing for the newspaper. Writing is a passion of mine I could do for hours and when the staff of the Vanguard Voice so willingly welcomed me with open arms, I went full throttle. Seeing an article that I wrote be published, gave me a sense of worth and capability I knew I had; I just had to rediscover.<br />
For two, being a barista. It sounds ridiculous, but coffee has shown me that when your hands feel empty, it gives you something to hold on to.<br />
<br />
For three, getting back into photography. Somehow, my RA found out about my photography and how I didn't just used to do it for fun, but as a side job and she asked me to do a photo shoot for the RA's of Laguna hall. Of course I couldn't deny this opportunity, so I agreed, posted it to my blog that had gone untouched for almost a year and then the rest was history. Word got out and I was being asked by many for photo sessions. And I could not thank every one of you enough for helping me rekindle my love and desire to capture these moments for you.<br />
<br />
For four, my family, my family- my family. I'm almost in tears as I write this. The ones who helped me with picking classes my first semester and filling in as mom when she couldn't, and the ones who let me so graciously be apart of their lives as if I lived with them. The ones who loved me from afar and sent me letters I was thrilled to open, and the ones who pay for it all..<br />
My parents are everything to me. I love my sisters and don't know what I would do without them. I don't know what I would do without any of my family. I truly am grateful for all of you and love you all to pieces. Thank you for everything.<br />
<br />
So, What's next? Well, if you've made it to the bottom of this story of mine I first want to thank you for caring enough to read it all!<br />
<br />
As I currently am employed under Starbucks as a barista, my time there is going to be short lived. In January as the incessant hunt for employment begun, I applied for many jobs at once:<br />
Starbucks was my first thought, the Krochet Kids International marketing team, Forest Home summer camp up near Big Bear and a full time nanny.<br />
Obviously, I paid most attention to Starbucks and pursued them more than anything else and got the job. I heard back from Forest Home after getting hired at Starbucks and was absolutely thrilled.<br />
<br />
Upon entering college, I knew I was going to be a camp counselor at FCA UCLA, but God had different plans. I prayed for weeks and honestly knew immediately that Forest Home was the correct option for me. So, June 8th I leave to be a photographer for family camp at Forest Home for 10 solid weeks.<br />
My last day at Forest Home is the same day I have to be back at Vanguard for Frontline which is a Freshman welcoming/mentoring and transition program for the incoming class. We spend the week moving the freshman students in, showing them around Costa Mesa and doing outrageous events that I will remember participating in for the rest of my life.<br />
<br />
Another door God opened for me was a very pleasant surprise. An email from Krystal Komatsu who is the program coordinator of the Communications Department asking me to interview as a student worker. Krystal is amazing and coordinates everything in the Comm department; not just events.<br />
My job would be sitting at the front desk of the Comm department and answering to everyone who walks through the door.<br />
Hopefully this job comes through, as it would be on campus and well paid for the rest of my time at Vanguard! How great would this look on Grad school transcripts and future resumes?<br />
I also applied for a section editor position on our paper which would be a little extra money and on my own time.<br />
<br />
So, as you can see- this year was absolute insanity. I would like to say there's nothing that I wouldn't change, but there are a few things regardless of how wonderful the second semester outcome was, that I would have changed.<br />
<br />
I'm beyond excited for next semester and cannot wait for the possibilities it brings! I love pouring into my school and the people that share the same feelings as I do. There's truly nothing like the college experience: Finding yourself and your own beliefs, making your own decisions, being forced to do things on your own and choosing how you want to live your life.<br />
<br />
I give huge credit to my parents who raised all of us kids so well and gave us a huge leg up on things I never realized until Vanguard. All of the times I drove home at 3 in the morning crying to be with family, all of the times I was absolutely terrified to make decisions I knew I had to and needed your guidance, and every single time I just wanted to hear your voices, you were there for me. I absolutely would have been a train wreck and would not have made it without your support, comfort and love all year. Thank you mom and dad for all of it. I love you both more than anything in the world.<br />
<br />
Here's until next year!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-N3HcsM4VL5c/U23q7NbLtiI/AAAAAAAABMc/mxj-Aa88ZYM/s1600/IMG_7630.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-N3HcsM4VL5c/U23q7NbLtiI/AAAAAAAABMc/mxj-Aa88ZYM/s1600/IMG_7630.JPG" height="478" width="640" /></a></div>
<span id="goog_1469663568"></span><span id="goog_1469663569"></span><br />Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-40886243443392150532014-04-20T22:11:00.001-07:002014-04-20T22:11:31.855-07:00<span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It's okay to be afraid. Absolutely scared out of your mind terrified. Because you know there's always going to be an outcome of some sort. Whether it's what you wanted or not. There's going to be a solution. It's going to work out. <i>It's going to be okay.</i></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tRBsOqiy-cI/U1SochhO8XI/AAAAAAAABMM/pDc7dYd0_q4/s1600/IMG_0889.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tRBsOqiy-cI/U1SochhO8XI/AAAAAAAABMM/pDc7dYd0_q4/s1600/IMG_0889.JPG" height="332" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><span id="goog_845015969"></span><span id="goog_845015970"></span><br /></i></span>Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-6430465001710546202014-04-08T00:20:00.001-07:002014-04-08T00:20:55.567-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: large;">Actually, I dress the way I do because</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: large;"> it makes <i>me </i>feel good about <i>myself</i>. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: large;">Not because I care what other people think.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DAxWpkePZGU/U0OjRnTH2xI/AAAAAAAABL8/W88kVYkNq2g/s1600/IMG_3740.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DAxWpkePZGU/U0OjRnTH2xI/AAAAAAAABL8/W88kVYkNq2g/s1600/IMG_3740.jpg" height="640" width="425" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-40140607121856354952014-04-02T23:49:00.000-07:002014-04-02T23:49:01.113-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cfe2f3;">Society begs for equality everyday, yet we Are all equal. Not by the ways of society at all, but under the undeserving love of our Lord and Savior. We deserve nothing. Every single person religious or not is just as equally messed up as the next which puts no one above each other. Whether you like it or not, we're all sinners. Absolutely including those in the church pew.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PpUHTNNOCyM/Uz0EQxDm6VI/AAAAAAAABLs/rSUHLIvmRas/s1600/IMG_1304.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PpUHTNNOCyM/Uz0EQxDm6VI/AAAAAAAABLs/rSUHLIvmRas/s1600/IMG_1304.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-25413716541718148962014-03-17T01:27:00.000-07:002014-03-17T01:32:35.599-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">SHE LOVES YOU </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"> <span style="color: #cc0000;">YEA <b>YEA</b> <i><strike>YEA</strike></i></span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-x_-OSBrztlU/Uyax1i5OSkI/AAAAAAAABLY/8zjh9hv9Q38/s1600/IMG_9795.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-x_-OSBrztlU/Uyax1i5OSkI/AAAAAAAABLY/8zjh9hv9Q38/s1600/IMG_9795.jpeg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span id="goog_292862218"></span><span id="goog_292862219"></span><br /></span></span>Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-23570337891150783892014-03-05T21:14:00.000-08:002014-03-05T21:14:21.287-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Kate Walsh: Tim's House</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Losing a friend causes heartbreak. It puts wear on your emotions and burns through your thought process. How? Just how? How could you <i>not</i> care anymore? Just like that. So easily. I don't want to believe it. I don't think I do. Your persona is sly.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iGLmHMVu20I/UxgDjnPSZDI/AAAAAAAABK4/aHYUURuBfIE/s1600/IMG_1096.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iGLmHMVu20I/UxgDjnPSZDI/AAAAAAAABK4/aHYUURuBfIE/s1600/IMG_1096.jpeg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-87047578246549119862014-02-20T19:44:00.001-08:002014-02-20T19:44:33.644-08:00<span style="color: #a2c4c9;">You know what sucks? Being absolutely alone. Being there for everyone. Listening to their feelings, their problems, their worries. And being completely alone. Having no one to do the same for you. Sure there's offers. There's faces that pass by, accompany me, talk to me, walk with me- and then they're gone. Just like that. Without a care in the world. Because there's always someone else for them. Who's that 'someone else' for me? Just a companion. A friend is all I want. It's all I need. Someone that actually cares. That genuinely cares. There's no one. Absolutely no one. I thought it was you but your influences thought differently. I acted like it didn't bother me. But inside, it's killing me.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vqHGhpRTk8U/UwbLBCeyNdI/AAAAAAAABJE/rIUv90Jpfm0/s1600/IMG_7855.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vqHGhpRTk8U/UwbLBCeyNdI/AAAAAAAABJE/rIUv90Jpfm0/s1600/IMG_7855.JPG" height="478" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-2467897162326242612014-02-16T23:26:00.000-08:002014-02-16T23:26:07.562-08:00<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hello I'm in Delaware: City and Colour</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #b6d7a8;">The difference between need and want is purely generated by the gratification of which amuses the soul. Preference to which dominates the realistic consumption of matter- is strictly based upon the depths of the heart. If you asked me. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #b6d7a8;">The heart wants what it needs and it's needs are what it wants. So why not want what you want and hope it satisfies what you need? What I want is love and companionship. Isn't this also what I need? Indeed- it is.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-g9HPD3JsPFA/UwG5W4BAXPI/AAAAAAAABI0/XPogTZhAIis/s1600/IMG_7763.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-g9HPD3JsPFA/UwG5W4BAXPI/AAAAAAAABI0/XPogTZhAIis/s1600/IMG_7763.JPG" height="478" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #b6d7a8;"><br /></span></div>
Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-68999029464495579012014-02-15T01:36:00.000-08:002014-02-15T01:36:30.333-08:00<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #38761d;">Inhaling the simplicity of little beans ground up and extracted to liquid in a cup, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #38761d;">soothe the anxiety upon distress. It centers my pain and relieves the strain. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #38761d;">How could one feel so abandoned in the middle of such an operational position?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #38761d;">The happiness that I longed was washed away like an oceans tide and all of my words were misunderstood. The road I've been traveling has come to a dead end and I can't seem to break off the path and search for another. I need not to find a cure for everything that makes me weak.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #38761d;">The wind is blowing me against the shallows of life's depths. And I can't break free. I can't find me.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fSomaomPVtM/Uv81Ec-fjLI/AAAAAAAABIk/QGkVIdt664E/s1600/_MG_9576.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fSomaomPVtM/Uv81Ec-fjLI/AAAAAAAABIk/QGkVIdt664E/s1600/_MG_9576.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #38761d;"><br /></span></div>
Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-72010208720225180862014-02-15T01:21:00.000-08:002014-02-15T01:21:07.867-08:00<span style="color: #e06666;">When all the hard times outweigh the good, all your words are misunderstood, </span><br />
<span style="color: #e06666;">When the day seems lost from the start- </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e06666;">you must follow your heart</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z7KvWi8UEiE/Uv8xeYegzkI/AAAAAAAABIY/ym28aXVgEME/s1600/_MG_1173.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z7KvWi8UEiE/Uv8xeYegzkI/AAAAAAAABIY/ym28aXVgEME/s1600/_MG_1173.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-12605415235956999702014-02-15T01:17:00.002-08:002014-02-15T01:17:51.205-08:00<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #ffe599;">City and Colour: Against the Grain</span></div>
<span style="color: #45818e;">Are you happy you got your way? Because i'm not. Not the least bit happy. I didn't think you were the type to be so malicious. But I guess I was wrong; completely and profoundly wrong. Like nothing is wrong at all you prance around acting like you didn't just forcefully rip my heart out. Because of you there's a distance now that was never going to happen naturally. You forced it upon him and it's not even what he wants. Is it really in his best interest? No. And you know that. <strike>How could you</strike></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MhacziWdx40/Uv8wlcm7ZzI/AAAAAAAABIQ/WP0t08RAC80/s1600/IMG_9221.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MhacziWdx40/Uv8wlcm7ZzI/AAAAAAAABIQ/WP0t08RAC80/s1600/IMG_9221.jpg" height="640" width="426" /></a></div>
<br />Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-2460045397673548782014-02-10T00:25:00.002-08:002014-02-10T00:27:58.168-08:00<span style="color: #d0e0e3;">The Lumineers: Flowers in her hair</span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">It's so easy. I just hope it means the same thing. Deep down. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">I know it's hard right now and it's confusing, but I have complete faith. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">It's not him. Not really. That's just a cover. </span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;">It's undeniable and you know it too.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BSmOw0myrvM/UviM8ECIEFI/AAAAAAAABIA/h6tXfRYTMXw/s1600/IMG_7726.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BSmOw0myrvM/UviM8ECIEFI/AAAAAAAABIA/h6tXfRYTMXw/s1600/IMG_7726.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-42690943569369046582014-02-07T22:55:00.001-08:002014-02-07T22:55:06.586-08:00<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #6aa84f;">Swan Lake</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #8e7cc3;">My first reaction is to be radically and emotionally absurd. To feel things intensely and act out in an unfashionable manner. So I ran. I hid. I literally shut down-cooped up and locked myself away before I self destructed. It could have been worse I presume. I could have been honest and directly verbalized my affections; but I took a subtle route instead. I'd be lying if I said seeking attention wasn't a role to be sought in this reaction. An even bigger lie would be that everything involving "you" wasn't going through my head. I wanted you to stay-to say more- to feel you there next to me- for you to only be thinking about me- for you to not want to be anywhere else. But you didn't.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-itArQMtLyT8/UvXUiQRAF5I/AAAAAAAABHw/0Njrf24YxRU/s1600/IMG_8976.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-itArQMtLyT8/UvXUiQRAF5I/AAAAAAAABHw/0Njrf24YxRU/s1600/IMG_8976.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-64658466594837580412014-02-04T15:18:00.002-08:002014-02-07T22:56:10.400-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #b45f06;">Coffitivity</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e;">Since you were a little girl, you've been visualizing that one person that's going to give you your 'happily ever after.' Your prince charming has every feature you could ever imagine or want in a guy and the best part is; he was made just for you. Everything you've been praying for or praying over for years, laid out into one special human being and he is suddenly placed into your life. And you know it. You know because this is the man that you have been praying for God to send you for years and he's right there in front of you. There's no denying it. No hiding it and no questions about it. There's just one thing hindering the relationship from evolving.</span></div>
<div>
<span id="goog_1328041658"></span><span id="goog_1328041659"></span><br />
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-A7MtuWUa3ZM/UvF1QXk24jI/AAAAAAAABHg/Xo-nNxbxelY/s1600/IMG_7717.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-A7MtuWUa3ZM/UvF1QXk24jI/AAAAAAAABHg/Xo-nNxbxelY/s1600/IMG_7717.jpg" height="640" width="478" /></a></div>
<span id="goog_984481375"></span><span id="goog_984481376"></span><br /></div>
</div>
Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-59902158564570295502014-02-01T02:35:00.001-08:002014-02-01T02:35:31.715-08:00<span style="color: #e69138;">I know that you can give me rest</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e;">The world is chaos. Absolute chaos. Humans are stretched in so many different directions; unwanted and unexpected ones. Taking a step away-taking a breather-clearing the mechanism- it's necessary otherwise complete and total chaos will consume you. It will take over your life. The thoughts a human thinks are total irrational. The worst place a person can be is their own mind. So what's the answer? How is it fixed? What makes it stop? For once can we just be still? Absolutely, completely still. And listen. Listen to the world around you and what good it has for you. What God has for you</span><br />
<span style="color: #45818e;"><br /></span>Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-85975979631988447612014-01-30T19:14:00.000-08:002014-01-30T19:14:13.548-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;">You know what the best thing is about having a blog that's completely invisible to the world? You can just write and write and write and write... Everything you're feeling. Everything you're seeing. Everything everything everything. And not worry about a single person in the worlds judgement.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WUwUNpumEI0/UusU5u1EJQI/AAAAAAAABHQ/0WTo9J2MwxU/s1600/IMG_8676.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WUwUNpumEI0/UusU5u1EJQI/AAAAAAAABHQ/0WTo9J2MwxU/s1600/IMG_8676.jpeg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79;"><br /></span></div>
Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-8480555630955798482014-01-13T00:13:00.003-08:002014-01-13T00:13:48.929-08:00<span style="color: #ead1dc;">John Mayer: Paper Doll</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">Actually, I think you can let anyone in. You can let everyone in. It's good to exchange humanly connections so others can know that they're not alone. Just don't let your own emotions get to you again.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UwGI_sI9-T4/UtOgERNqwXI/AAAAAAAABHA/mrsg-HoXhnA/s1600/GOPR0489.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UwGI_sI9-T4/UtOgERNqwXI/AAAAAAAABHA/mrsg-HoXhnA/s640/GOPR0489.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-53956115362510017722013-12-25T04:00:00.003-08:002013-12-25T04:01:28.642-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #ead1dc;">Give Me A Kiss To Build A Dream On</span><br />
<span style="color: #93c47d;">I want to just be on top of the world again. I'm so close. But there's this hindrance blocking, fighting against every force of me. Every right I ever had is being crushed between two cinderblocks and a landslide. I can see it all right before me through the single crack where daylight leaks through the pileup. But there's no way in getting to it. I can't breathe. I'm suffocating. I need out. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #93c47d;">I. Need. to. Get. Out.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dTABHVQCAIA/UrrI1GPtA5I/AAAAAAAABGw/QHOgHOUs9ns/s1600/IMG_6571.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="478" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dTABHVQCAIA/UrrI1GPtA5I/AAAAAAAABGw/QHOgHOUs9ns/s640/IMG_6571.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-77784957457549134352013-12-25T03:39:00.001-08:002013-12-25T04:02:20.483-08:00<span style="color: #6fa8dc;">The freedom that once seemed unrealistic and practically unattainable is yet, still only just thoughts, hopes, wishes that may someday flutter into my grasp. If hate were a word strong enough, for once; just this once, I would capitalize it and scream it from the rooftops of Manhattan. It's a screw-over. It's detonating. Being held back, that is. Being forced to lose your soul to the weakest, weariest, darkest and most desiccating shroud. There's a similarity of dead men walking and this very force that is so dark.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ead1dc;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span id="goog_124369426"></span><span id="goog_124369427"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O8PQuKYfzyU/UrrD228ZxPI/AAAAAAAABGg/Y7OsnkniZnI/s1600/IMG_7121.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="478" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O8PQuKYfzyU/UrrD228ZxPI/AAAAAAAABGg/Y7OsnkniZnI/s640/IMG_7121.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #ead1dc;">Beyond the sea: Bobby Darin</span>Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125954935904624960.post-660682687092876652013-08-15T00:19:00.000-07:002013-08-15T00:22:02.543-07:00<span style="color: #eeeeee;">As lonely girl sits in her room, she realizes all her ways are vile. Repulsive. Even hideous. But in sense, she concludes a change is yet to come. Her sweet side was as pleasant as warm tea snuggled by the fireside. It was lost in thought bettering everyone around her with the best possible intentions, but her own self. Admiring the good things about people's appearance as well as the bad. She smiled at every passerby and heldfast the delights of chivalry. Smooth jazz filled her mind dancing with the cool breeze that made her smile so easy. But what was it that was so devilishly foul about her soul? Why couldn't she fix it? What was it? The way she held her confidence was unabashed. She knew what she wanted everywhere she left a footprint. She was in a rush. She wanted to stop and admire and think freely about the things in life that caught her attention. But she couldn't. She just couldn't find a way. Mapped out goals and christened plans occupied her near and beyond future. She was beat-up inside and holding it together on the outside. She did what she had to and didn't break the rules because the pain was much too great to bear when the consequences were implied. So what was wrong? Why was she so unnecessary to others? She was mean. She was smart in protecting herself from hurt. She inflicted her own pain. Or did she? Why was she so alone in the lavishly packed sphere of a world?</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JWhuiw1NxaM/UgyAt0l4uzI/AAAAAAAABF8/eeiNdkIg1rk/s1600/IMG_6153.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="478" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JWhuiw1NxaM/UgyAt0l4uzI/AAAAAAAABF8/eeiNdkIg1rk/s640/IMG_6153.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"></span><br />Catherine McGrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12928952296716529200noreply@blogger.com